a man lost in a world he does not quite understandTumblr (3.0; @reverb)http://reverb.tumblr.com/<p>i am currently not happy with one single aspect of my life.</p>http://reverb.tumblr.com/post/76995288http://reverb.tumblr.com/post/76995288Mon, 09 Feb 2009 17:33:30 -0500<object width="400" height="336"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/V2c9JPohB7g&rel=0&egm=0&showinfo=0&fs=1"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/V2c9JPohB7g&rel=0&egm=0&showinfo=0&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="400" height="336" allowFullScreen="true" wmode="transparent"></embed></object><br/><br/>http://reverb.tumblr.com/post/75770912http://reverb.tumblr.com/post/75770912Wed, 04 Feb 2009 22:53:34 -0500<p>i dont fit in to conventional views of what men are supposed to act like.  and i think thats my downfall.</p> <p>at 25 all you’re supposed to do is think about sex, talk about sex, and brag a aspects of your sexual prowess that are not in fact true.</p> <p>now dont get me wrong, i think sex is a beautiful thing, i enjoy it, but not with many anonymous partners just for the thrill.</p> <p>i dont dare speak of this feeling around men of my age.  its not the norm, then again im not the norm.</p> <p>i want something real.  thats all i want in this world.  i dont want money, or fame.  i would gladly give up every party and night at the bar for one person.</p> <p>most people search for that person.  ive seen her.  i know who she is.  i fucked it up just like everything else in my life.</p> <p>u always see in movies, the scene where the girl walks by.  time slows.  music plays.  she flips her hair and at that moment you know who she is.</p> <p>ive seen it.  ive seen her.  in know who she is.  as the jaded man that i am, i dont believe in these sort of things.  but ive seen it.</p> <p>that was two years ago.  i can still tell you what she was wearing.  where i was.  who i was with. what i was doing.</p> <p>i met her twice.  i will most probably never will again.  though i still think about here every day.</p> <p>i wont try to reach out again i know.  because i still havnt rid of these demons that cause my downfall in the first place.</p> <p>thats not who i am.  but she will never ever see that.  and thats why i cant sleep at night.</p>http://reverb.tumblr.com/post/75488333http://reverb.tumblr.com/post/75488333Tue, 03 Feb 2009 22:48:24 -0500<object width="400" height="336"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Q0iPFqgsLU8&rel=0&egm=0&showinfo=0&fs=1"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Q0iPFqgsLU8&rel=0&egm=0&showinfo=0&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="400" height="336" allowFullScreen="true" wmode="transparent"></embed></object><br/><br/><p>for as long as i can remember when i heard music and sounds i saw colors and textures amongst other things.  i always thought it was normal, until told otherwise.</p> <p>this song ruins me.  a total mental freakout.  beautiful sounds.</p>http://reverb.tumblr.com/post/75429723http://reverb.tumblr.com/post/75429723Tue, 03 Feb 2009 18:15:00 -0500<p>the idea of blogging never crossed my mind.</p> <p>with the recent onset of less stimulating minds to talk to, ill take this over talking to myself.</p> <p>i guess in essence the same thing really.</p>http://reverb.tumblr.com/post/75422006http://reverb.tumblr.com/post/75422006Tue, 03 Feb 2009 17:42:30 -0500<img src="http://5.media.tumblr.com/XtDZTtI12jip71ocFKEKPFPmo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/>http://reverb.tumblr.com/post/75421407http://reverb.tumblr.com/post/75421407Tue, 03 Feb 2009 17:39:34 -0500